I've been thinking about the things Pisay taught me during my four-year stay there. Those four years really did change the way I viewed the world; from the innocent (well, relatively), smart-ass jet-setter view to, well, a unique combination of point of views that can only be called me. If not change my view, they made me realize and be aware of certain things that I never noticed before, made connections about things I would have never known were connected, and taught me to do things I would have never done before, for better or worse (lol).

First year was one of the best years I had in Pisay. Not only did it have the best fair I've had so far, but the friends I made there really lasted. Four years strong and counting, bitches (rofl). Eme was one of the best things that happened to me, and I bet my whole Pisay experience would have been different had I been in another section during first year. Maybe I would have been GC, or I would have been Topal,l or maybe even one of the FLABs (YEAH RIGHT). And even though I'm the type that would have been everywhere (a mushroom. Hi Aaron :D ), I still consider myself Eme first and foremost, and everything else just follows. 

One of the most important things Eme taught me is how to control the truth. Honesty may be the best policy, but the world is held together by the masterful use of the truth. It doesn't mean that you should lie; on the contrary, you shouldn't. I would know. Create a lie, build up on it, and for the rest of your life you have to live in that web. You have to be consistent; you have to be careful. And the hardest part if breaking the web from all of those so deeply trapped in it. 

Trust me. It's that hard.

Going back to the main thought, the masterful use of the truth is not necessarily in lying (though it may be necessary sometimes). It is in knowing which truths to tell, and which truths to keep for yourself. This is another thing that I should have known. But then, things wouldn't have been better if it stayed the same way as it started.

Another thing I learned in Eme is that life is written with permanent marker. You can't erase anything you've already done; and you can cover it, but it doesn't change the fact that it's there. And most importantly, make a mark that is so different from everything else, and it WILL stand out, guaranteed. Hiding won't work, and neither will making it stand out less.

For now, that's all. This area might change sometime later. But for now, that's all. 

It's hard to get my hopes up, then just end up falling harder.

It's easier to just know what the reason is, than to think about it every fucking night.

Sometimes, it's just easier to let go, than to irrationally keep holding on.

..but then, regret will always, always be there. It will haunt you in your dreams, chase you through your years, kill you faster than anything else.


I wish I could just delete those bittersweet memories.

I wish I could read minds.

I wish I could stay cool even under times like this.

I wish I could fulfill my dreams without having to sacrifice anything.

I wish I could flyyy~



In the end, no matter how much you've planned for something, it almost always turns out differently.


Do you know that feeling? The type of feeling you get when something bad happens and you actually can think of reasonable excuses for it? Like, you can blame the lack of time for failing the tests, or blame the dog for eating your homework or something.

But what if you can't? It sucks, right?


When I grow up, I want to build my own house. And be able to design it. And have this really really huge wall where I can just paint whatever, whenever.








Pardon me for the randomness. I just couldn't express everything in one paragraph, haha.

Oh, and I already have enough inspiration to finally start working on that poem Le Monty's requiring us to do. LIKE YEAH.

Mehn. What a happy happy Christmas this is! :| 
*merry* Christmas, everybody.

 So yeah. Here goes. It's not as emo as some of my previous posts (except of course the survey post there) so yeah. 

My posts during the previous Christmas were just sort of reactions to what I've just endured for the past, iunno, 15 years then? I just got pissed of with everything and shit so that came out. Well, I'm not saying that those shit I have in my life are gone now and that's it's all rainbows and candy-shitting unicorns in my life, it's just that the WHOLE FUCKING YEAR was shitty enough that I'm just thanking God that this Christmas isn't the cherry on that motherfucker. So much for my 16th year of living.

I think I swear too much. Who cares.

When Christmas cheer seemed to evade me last year, it followed me everywhere this year, and even lifted my spirits up when I wanted to kill someone. So yeah, reversal of last year. Last year (3rd year) was one of the best in my life, but its Christmas break sucked. This year was hell on earth, seriously, but, for me, Christmas was like a whiff of oxygen, even though I haven't really had a day of real rest. As I said before, I've been out of the house almost everyday (actually, yesterday was the only exception, but because it was FUCKING CHRISTMAS DUH) and awake earlier than 9 am, but I actually feel... okay. I'm the last man standing right now in my tita's house (well, only one in my generation, anyway). Heh. Must be that whole bottle of Asti Martini that I drank. (Which is why I think they hid the other 3 2 bottles away already). Or maybe the sleep I had this afternoon. Heh.

Christmas this year was more of choosing family over my friends, who, though I spend most of my time with and understand me more, ... (I actually can't think about something my family has over my friends. Wow.). Yeah. I mean, I had some weird bonding moments (Me walking with Ryan Salamat, who had a headband on, from Pisay to Trinoma to buy Starbucks), but beside that, it was mostly choosing family over friends. I skipped MuonParty for another party I had with family. I also skipped the caroling shits for the same thing (and because I'd rather be in a mall than caroling, and that I'm a fat lazy ass). The Christmas break, and the days leading to it, really changed the way I view some things that I do, which may or may not cost me the Honors in Grad. Oh-fucking-well.

Speaking of changing my views and shit...

The days leading up to and the Christmas break so far changed the way I prioritize some things. I question the amount of priority that I gave schoolwork over some activities that I consider to be in the "life outside Pisay" folder. I started "living" more, and, uh, working less I guess.

Well, I didn't change THAT much. I still did our ComSci shit alone. Then gave all my groupmates a 5 (the highest you can give) and gave them all a carbon copy of that email to Sir Gerson so that their conscience will gnaw at their bones over the Christmas Break. See. I'm still the devil. Just, well, lite. And I still work that much, I didn't blow off ComSci so that I can sleep and mall (though in all honesty, I still did mall the day that ComSci was due. But I was able to do that because I started ComSci, like, the day the break started). Workaholic shit on the most inappropriate of times.

On another note, we don't have fucking progress on STR because all the laboratories were closed for Christmas (SURPRISE SURPRISE!). So yeah, we'd have to work overtime during January. And we don't even have nitrogen dioxide for the damn testing shit yet. Fuck this life.

I'm not emo. I'm just fucking frustrated. That's all. Well, just on that. But since they're not thinking about it, why should I? :D

I've been watching Dexter online since I got to my cousin's house (which was like yesterday), and I have to say, I want it on cable. It's morbidly fun, and the main character is fascinating.

That's all for now; it's only the morn` of the 25th. Morning, y`all.

ABC About You Questions:
A - AVAILABLE: Sorta.
B - BIRTHDAY: 2-16
C - CRUSHING ON: None, actually.
D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Coke.
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: No one :| Lol.
F - FAVORITE SONG: Maybe City of Blinding Lights by U2.
G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: BOTH.
H - HOMETOWN: QUezon City.
I - IN LOVE WITH: The Internet :>
J - JUGGLE: Uh, does 1 count?
K - KILLED SOMEONE: SomeTHING, yes. SomeONE, no.
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: To Cagayan. Maybe.
M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Vanilla or Chocolate.
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 0 :P
O - ONE WISH: Err. Power to control time, maybe? :D
P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: My mom.
R- REASON TO SMILE: Chistmas?
S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: City of Blinding Lights :))
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: Around 9-ish.
U - UNDERWEAR COLOR/PATTERN: Iunno :)) Black?
V - VEGETABLE(S): most, except Ampalaya.
W - WORST HABIT: Errr. Rather not :P
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: Chest X-Ray. Required.
Y – YOYOS ARE: FILIPINO \m/
Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Aquarius. Because I don't really trust the Chinese.


Last person you hung out with?
Cousins. LOL whut?

How many people do you have a crush on right now?
Err.

Are you boring?
Sort of.

Does the person you like, like you?
Meron ba?

Are you listening to anything?
M.I.A. - Paper Planes

Can you spell well?
I guess so.

Are you the person who loves songs about love, or are you the person who likes song that you can dance to?
You can have them both naman ah. <3 BRITNEY

How's the weather?
Gonna rain.

Something that you are annoyed by?
Parents. Talking about stuff. Behind your back.

Name a lyric from the song you listening to?
All I wanna do is *gun shots* somethingsomething Take your money :))

How was today?
Err. Okay lang.

Last person you played hide-and-seek with?
Eww. I always lose in that game.

Have you watched a scary movie lately?
REC with the CharMuon Gerzone class :))

Are you a morning or night person?
Night.

Do you believe men aren't suppose to cry?
Nope.

Is your heart hurting?
Iunno. Ask my cardio :))

Do you like water?
Well yes.

Are you a big fan of the Jonas Brothers?
:)) no.

Do you make it obvious when you like someone?
I don't make it obvious. I think :))

Can you be weird?
I guess.

Do you have a pet?
Not anymore :((

Have you ever had a pet fish?
Yeah, actually.

Can you get ready in less then 15 minutes?
Nope. Even if I'm a guy.